A large part of me loves, no, needs my food to be as homemade as possible. No additives, unnecessary sodium or pretend ingredients. My body does not know what to do with fake food.
My body does not know what to do with fake anything, and maybe that’s the real issue. And remembering who I used to be, and knowing who I am now, that’s a whole lot to wrap my brain around.
I’d like to think I would win any sort of contest that required me to eat bread. Is there somewhere out there where my bread dedication would be heralded and maybe I’d become mayor of a Bread town where they only pay me in bread and my house is also made of bread that magically never goes stale yet keeps me warm in the winter and cool in the summer?
Can I use it for healing powers?
Can I fight crime?
^^All things that go through my head when it’s bread eating time, which is every single morning in my life. If we go out to lunch or dinner, you and me… and you see me ordering things like salads or meats and veggies instead of sandwiches, please know that it is solely because I have already consumed my – and your – bread quota for the day.
The thing about me and bread is that I like to control the bread that I’m eating as much as possible. Bread means so much to me, that I will not allow an inferior product to enter my world. And I’m not saying I will only consume the bread that I, myself, have made… I’m only saying that while I love bread…
I do not love just any bread for the sake of being bread.
I’ve fielded a lot of people’s questions regarding the reaction I’ve received from publishing my article, How to Accidentally Break Up a Family. I’ve also gotten an incredible response from so many people that has brought a whole new life to my story. The afterglow of it all has been solid proof that telling the truth and sharing it with others is such a great connector… and that being so personal and vulnerable and painfully honest is what universally makes us all human.
And with all of that being said and true, there’s also a sharp side to telling your story. Making any sort of great change in life has never been easy. Talking or writing about something that involves other people will always bring some colorful flare to the party. And while I didn’t write anything To anyone, or At anyone, I fully accept that my little pebble I’ve tossed will continue to ripple the water for as long as what I have to say remains relevant.
I know that as many people I’ve had reach out to share their stories with me, or tell me how much mine meant to them, there are a lot of people who are scared to reach out and connect… or reconnect.
My story isn’t an easy one to digest. Just like me, it has a lot of bumps and twists and crags that ultimately created a beautiful love story. It’s also caused some people to vanish. But I know that every little thing that left me has shown me such a meaningful gift and taught me such a special lesson. If something is so tattered and fragile to be picked up by the slightest bit of breeze, then it wasn’t built to last. And the people who are still in my life are the ones who have built a home there. Being given the gift to see precisely who is sturdy in my life is something I would never trade for any amount of painful reality it was to watch someone leave.
I wrote a tiny little something about the reality of what happens after you make the kind of decision that I did.
It’s a 4 minute read on medium.com, titled The Truth About The Truth.
…
As for tonight… we’re having an Emmy’s party with more chicken wings than we should eat and I will choose all the hottest of hot sauces because while I am really good at learning to stay away from some painful things in my life… I am absolutely terrible at others.
Head on over to medium.com to read the cute little The Truth About The Truth, and if you haven’t read it yet, settle into your cozies and read the biggun’ : How to Accidentally Break Up a Family.
Sending you a lot of love.
Thanks for reading, y’all x
Something I wrote a while ago got picked up by a publication specializing in mental health and addiction.
While my heart aches for the number of people it resonated with, I couldn’t be more touched by those who have reached out to tell me that my words have helped their clients, their friends and family…
Them.
Being on the other side of trauma; having cleared all the undigested waste that festered inside of me for years,
gives me the privilege
– the duty –
to now stand on an impenetrable foundation with a safe hand for those who are still walking through theirs.
I am here for all of you who need help standing and taking those first steps towards a stronger and more peaceful life.
Please continue to reach out if you need me.
The symbiosis that exists within human healing is what creates a kinder tomorrow.
You are loved.
You may also be interested in :
written January 2018 :
I, As Well
I wrote a little piece on medium the other day and failed to share it here… mainly because I’ve been traveling – and both the trip and the re-entry has been bananas (but yummy bananas!), and also because I tend to have my focus split with the content I’m putting out there. AND I am terrible at self promotion, so cross promoting rarely enters my mind as a possibility.
I’ve had a lot of people reach out to me about it helping them, and it still never occurred to me to share it further until now.
Writing a book that I’m letting myself take a lot of time on is just one of those things that comes in waves… or splashes… or dry as hell spells. And I’m letting all of it just be OK. Patience has never been my strongest attribute, but being self aware is 😉 .
The particular piece is about forgiveness. And if you follow me on instagram, you would have read me say this about it when I shared it there :
Writing over on medium is still new for me.
I write every day, but I don’t always share it as it comes out.
I think the part of me that holds on tightly to my truth in hopes no one will take advantage of it again is also what causes me to hold on to other things in my life perhaps a bit too tightly.
Vulnerability is something I’m working on.
Trust is hard for me.
Anyway, all this to say – I wrote a little thing that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.
Forgiveness.
Click the link in my bio to read it over on medium.
Give me a couple 👏 over there if you feel it.
Comment if you wanna. Even if you kindly disagree.
Follow / subscribe if that feels good to your insides.
And however your day goes, I hope you feel loved.
xo
***
Read FauxGiveness at medium.com.
And have yourself a merry little monday now x
If this is the third email you’ve gotten from me in the past few days… and also in the past few months, all I can say is – as much as I like to think I can control most things around me…
I cannot control technology.
I’m even married to Mr. Technology and that doesn’t even get me a free pass.
It does, however, give me an indescribable amount of Yeti mugs.
Anyway, all this to say – I appreciate your patience in all of this sloppy messiness. My site has been under construction and we’re all practicing patience.
Although… I do sometimes wish we could go back to the days of analog. The days when light switches turned on lights instead of the tiny lady trapped inside that box on my end table. The days when liking someone meant… you told them so to their face. Or maybe in a handwritten note. Those were fun.
But then I also love a lot about technology. I love that, because of it, I can tell my tiny computer we call a phone to turn on my coffee the second I open my eyes every morning.
I love that I can talk to my cousin and see her face at the same time, even if she doesn’t live in my town.
And I love that it allows me a platform to reach people; even if it is a sloppy mess at times.
I think it all boils down to me wishing I could just take the things I love about anything… and leave the things I don’t love behind for someone else. Wouldn’t that just be peachy. Whether in technology, in life, in people…
Not necessarily change anything, or anyone… to each his own and no judgement and all that, for sure. But to just have the ability, and the control, to kindly say –
no thank you, that’s not for me.
And then move along without anyone getting hurt, or at the very least, confused.
But, that’s not our world. Our world, this new one right here, is full of a ton of things we don’t love and don’t need and don’t want to see. You can’t open your tiny pocket computer, or walk outside, without seeing something you don’t want to.
Life is full of triggers.
And the second you embrace that fact and stop fighting it, the healthier and the happier your days will be.
At least that’s what I think.
Anyway, I digress…
How’s about some holiday recipe ideas from the VIP backlogs?
Excellent.
My little family and I do something different every year for the holidays. We either travel somewhere new and different, cook something new and different, or spend it with new and different people… or all of the above! But I have tons of old culinary favorites I know I can look back on and revisit whenever I want to, and I decided to put them all into one post just for you.
Here we go.