There was always a running joke in my house growing up- and it involved the fact that I am simply incapable of not making a mess. Ever. If I had a nickel for every time I heard, ‘Abbey! What did you DO?!’, come out of my parent’s mouths, I would be incredibly rich and snooty and not be talking to any of you.
I drop things, I spill things, I break things, I lose things, I fall over things, I bump into things.
And it’s not due to a lack of respect for said things (or myself), it’s simply due to the fact that I am busy. Simply put- I am a busy, busy person- mentally and physically. I just do not stop. Unless I’m sleeping, and even then I’m told I flail about as if checking items off my to-do list. I am an excellent multi-tasker. I mean…I get a lot of shhh done all day long, simultaneously.
…I just happen to break some of that shhh sometimes. (Fair trade off, I think. No?)
I’ve dropped canisters of flour and sugar on the floor, just the other day I dropped and broke my ceramic salt crock and it shattered into a thousand pieces, (yes, the salt was still in it), I’ve dropped and spilled bottles of oil on many-a-kitchen rug (faulty top on that bottle, SO not my fault), I’ve broken 34 wine glasses onto the kitchen floor, spilled 12 glasses of red wine on the couch I’m sitting on (thank goodness for Wine Away), dropped 4 birthday cakes (thank goodness for the trifle), and the list goes on. (No, seriously. The list goes on and on and on…) So when people in my family give me fancy gifts (husband included), there is always this look that comes along with it…as if they’re saying to themselves, ‘Dear god, what have I done. I’ve given Dropsie Magoo an iPad, or a new chef’s knife or a bottle of wine…I just basically threw my money into the garbage can.’
And I’m guessing what you are now telling yourself is- #1- Don’t give Abbey gifts (but please ignore that voice. I adore gifts. Gifts are the best!) And #2- Slow the blank down, missy! (and my response to that would be No. Nope. Can’t stop/Won’t stop). So, since Abbey isn’t showing signs of changing, basically the world just needs to make better stuff. Abbey-Proof stuff. Stuff that I can drop and not have it shatter, accidentally toss into a large body of water and not have it drown, just normal things like that. It’s 2014, people!! If we can make our cell phones answer questions like, ‘Where am I? and ‘What did I do last night?’ then we can make that cell phone not break. I mean…someone like me having something like a cell phone with them at all times (yes, I am THAT person- it is ALWAYS with me), is just dangerous business otherwise. Just this past month I’ve lost my iPhone twice. But I would like to think of that as I FOUND my iPhone twice (glass half full, people.) I’ve run my phone through the washing machine (back pocket…told you it was always on me), I’ve left it in the refrigerator, (cheese drawer), I’ve shattered a couple (which I would like to believe is the phone’s fault and not my own…I mean, I cannot be responsible for controlling my own strength at ALL times). It’s become a problem.
Surprisingly so, I’m actually an AT&T Brand Ambassador. Some poor guy over at some PR firm, years ago, thought I seemed like the perfect candidate to spread the news about new electronic devices. And so I did. I received the Nokia Lumia 920 two Christmases ago and was asked to write about my experience with it. I had that phone for a whole year and a half before I killed it. (Come on. That’s pretty good, y’all.) I used it for media purposes mainly, since I am an iPhone owner, but enjoyed using it…as did my kids. I took it to the gym with me everyday for my treadmill entertainment…which leads me to its demise. I was walking out of the gym- phone(s) and keys in hand, and some over-excited runner wasn’t looking and bumped right smack into me and my stuff (again, not my fault). The Nokia fell to the ground and shattered into a hundred tiny pieces.
The Samsung Galaxy S5 Active is kinda incredible… it’s ‘Made for active lifestyles with a casing that’s dust proof and water-resistant…(it’s) engineered to withstand the rigors of your workout and your world.’
But with everything wonderful, there are oftentimes a couple things that you aren’t as thrilled about. And honestly, I’m nit-picking here. Since I’m used to Apple devices that, let’s face it- a child can operate, this device is fairly complicated for quick, everyday use. It usually takes several steps to get to the same place I would with my iPhone. I have trouble with the keyboard, as things are in different places and the buttons are extremely sensitive so I’m hitting the wrong things a lot. The sound quality through the headphones isn’t stellar…and the headphones themselves just don’t work for me, (but I have tiny baby ears so that isn’t too much of a shocker). And, I’m sad to say that the camera isn’t that great. I do love the fact that you have a lot of different choices like the coveted ‘beauty face’ mode which instantly softens features on selfies…
But all in all, the shutter speed is slower than ideal so a lot of the photos come out just a tiny bit blurry…
And, most importantly- I can Abbey-handle the hell out of it and it can take it. It’s the perfect device for a clumsy super hero on-the-go.
Now, if they can only figure out a way to keep it from being left in strange places…
I’ll put on my Ambassador hat (it has tassels!) and see what us important people over at AT&T can do about that and get back to you.
(all thoughts expressed in this post are my own…except for the ones about what my family thinks of me and gifts. Those I do NOT agree with.)