We are a collection of other people’s perceptions of Us.
There are many different versions of ourselves- all different, yet all the same person. There is the version we know ourselves to be- the way we feel inside- all our insecurities, odd thoughts, skeletons, rage and fear. And no one will ever know that person. Even if we try to allow it, even if we say we let someone in
, that person inside of us remains invisible to the rest of the world. No one will ever know what we tell ourselves in the dark while we’re lying in bed. No one will ever know what truly frightens us, what makes Us happy, what secrets we hold onto, what promises we keep.
That is the one and only true secret we, as human beings hold onto in this life.
And then there are the many different versions that the rest of the world believe us to be- and all of those versions, all of those ‘people’ make Us who we are.
There is the version our parents know Us to be. This is how we begin, the first version to exist. Our parents are our first best friend, our first love. They will always and forever see Us as the children we once were. And with every year that passes, with every wrinkle that appears, every job we gain or child we birth, we still don’t change in the eyes of our parents, we simply grow into older children.
There is the version that our friends see. Our friends see us and know us as various characters in a play. They know Fun Us at the party. They know Sad Us when we come to them in tears. They know Mad Us when we need a mad companion. Our friends know us in snapshots.
And then there is the version of US that our spouse or life partner sees. They know Us very well, the best of all. They live with Us- day in and day out. They see Us at our best in the beginning, when we first meet and everything is light and happy and fun. And then as the years pass, they see Us at our most open, and often at our worst- at our most tired, most strained, most heartbroken- before we inevitably settle into a comfortable version of who we once were. We stop trying to prove to our parters who we are, because we just let them see whatever they want to see. And I don’t think we easily change for our partners. People say it happens often, but I don’t think that’s true. I think we simply settle in. And then before we know it, after 10, 20, 30 years we sometimes have forgotten who we once were. We have forgotten who the person was that was once so captivating and easy to fall in love with all those years ago.
We don’t change, we just settle.
People see whatever they want to see. We can try to put our best Us forward, prove to the world that we are the most friendly, the most caring, the most fun, but at the end of the day- people will always and forever see whatever they allow themselves to see. The players of the sport are in charge of the outcome but it’s up to the spectator whether or not they like the game.
Movies are as funny as the watcher, songs are as sad as the listener, games are as fun as the player.
But what if you meet someone who sees a side of You that you never knew existed? What if this new You, the one that they see, is better than any other You you’ve known before? What if by meeting that someone, you then are able to find the person inside that has been trying to get out all of these years? Sometimes that’s all it takes for that true change to happen. Sometimes it takes someone new to see something in You that no one has ever seen before to make you realize what you are capable of.
And what if that’s all it took to become your happiest and truest self? -Meeting someone new, stepping out into the world, no matter how old or young, and simply opening yourself up to interpretation.If you feel you need a change, if you feel that you have settled too much, become to comfortable, try looking at
yourself through the eyes of someone new.
You never know who You may become.
“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Magician’s Nephew
“It’s all in the mind.”
― George Harrison
“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.”
― Robertson Davies, Tempest-Tost
“To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.”
― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
“…When you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things”
– Robin Williams